You were the best partner I could have asked for. You were the most charming, charismatic horse I’ve ever met, and every person who saw you fell irrevocably in love. You had the heart of an angel, a work ethic far superior to mine, and an enchanting personality that endeared you to horse and non-horse people alike. I am honored that you allowed me to be your person for the last two years. Rest in peace, my friend.
judge in court: everything u say will be held against u
judge: haha case dismissed